If you’re wondering what are the steps in a divorce process, understanding this journey can help reduce anxiety during an already difficult time. The steps in a divorce process typically include deciding to divorce, filing a petition, serving divorce papers to your spouse, responding to the petition, exchanging financial information, negotiating settlement terms, attending court hearings if necessary, and finalizing the divorce decree. Knowing what the steps in a divorce process are helps you prepare emotionally, financially, and legally for each stage of ending your marriage. While every divorce is unique and laws vary by location, the fundamental process follows a similar pattern across most jurisdictions.
Divorce is rarely easy, but understanding what to expect can make the process less overwhelming. Whether you’re just considering divorce or already moving forward, this comprehensive guide will walk you through each step, explain what happens at every stage, and help you navigate this challenging transition with greater confidence and clarity.
Before You Start: Important Preliminary Considerations
Before diving into the formal divorce process, several important considerations should guide your decision and preparation.
Is Divorce the Right Decision?
Divorce is a major life decision with lasting consequences. Before proceeding, consider whether you’ve explored all alternatives including marriage counseling, trial separation, or mediation to address problems. Sometimes professional help can save marriages worth saving.
However, if you’ve genuinely tried to make things work, if there’s abuse (physical, emotional, or financial), if trust is irreparably broken, or if you and your spouse simply want fundamentally different things from life, divorce may be the healthiest choice.
Take time to be certain, but don’t stay in an unhappy or unhealthy marriage out of fear or guilt.
Understanding Your State’s Divorce Laws
Divorce laws vary significantly by state and country. Research your jurisdiction’s specific requirements including residency requirements (how long you must live there before filing), waiting periods between filing and finalization, grounds for divorce (fault vs. no-fault), and property division rules (community property vs. equitable distribution).
Understanding your local laws helps you set realistic expectations about timeline, process, and potential outcomes.
Gathering Important Documents
Before filing for divorce, gather copies of important documents including marriage certificate, birth certificates for any children, financial records (bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, retirement accounts), property documents (deeds, mortgage statements, vehicle titles), debt information (credit card statements, loan documents), and insurance policies.
Having organized documentation saves time and money once the process begins.
Consulting with an Attorney
Even if you plan to handle your divorce without an attorney (which is only advisable for truly simple, uncontested divorces), an initial consultation with a divorce lawyer provides valuable information about your rights, likely outcomes, and potential pitfalls.
Many divorce attorneys offer free or low-cost initial consultations. Take advantage of these to understand your situation before making decisions.
Protecting Your Finances
Before filing, consider opening a separate bank account in your name only, documenting all marital assets and debts, pulling your credit report to see all accounts, protecting your share of joint accounts (but don’t drain them—that can hurt you in court), and consulting with a financial advisor about implications of divorce.
Financial preparation protects you during and after the divorce process.
Step 1: Filing the Divorce Petition
The divorce process formally begins when one spouse files a divorce petition (also called a complaint) with the court.
Who Files First?
Either spouse can file for divorce. The person who files is called the “petitioner” or “plaintiff,” while the other spouse becomes the “respondent” or “defendant.” Filing first provides some advantages including choosing the jurisdiction (if you and your spouse live in different places), setting the timeline, and potentially presenting your narrative first.
However, these advantages are usually minor. Don’t rush to file just to be first if you’re not ready.
What the Petition Contains
The divorce petition is a legal document that includes basic information about both spouses (names, addresses, marriage date), information about children (names, ages, custody preferences), grounds for divorce (reasons for seeking divorce), and requests regarding property division, spousal support, child custody and support.
You’ll need to be thorough and accurate. Mistakes or omissions can delay the process.
No-Fault vs. Fault-Based Divorce
Most states allow no-fault divorce where you don’t need to prove wrongdoing—you simply state the marriage is irretrievably broken or you have irreconcilable differences. This is simpler, faster, and less adversarial.
Some states still allow fault-based divorce where you cite specific grounds like adultery, abuse, abandonment, or imprisonment. Fault-based divorce can affect property division and support in some jurisdictions, but it’s more contentious and time-consuming.
Filing Fees
Filing for divorce costs money—typically $200-$400 depending on your jurisdiction. If you can’t afford the filing fee, you may qualify for a fee waiver based on income. Ask the court clerk about this option.
Where to File
You file divorce petitions with the family court or circuit court in your county. You must typically meet residency requirements—most states require you or your spouse to have lived in the state for at least six months and in the specific county for a shorter period before filing.
Step 2: Serving Divorce Papers
After filing, you must officially notify your spouse about the divorce by “serving” them with copies of the petition and a summons.
Why Service Matters
Legally, your spouse has a right to know about the divorce and an opportunity to respond. Proper service ensures they receive this notification and starts the clock for their response time.
Methods of Service
Common service methods include:
Personal Service: A process server or sheriff personally delivers papers to your spouse. This is the most reliable method.
Certified Mail: Papers are mailed with return receipt requested. Your spouse must sign for them.
Substitute Service: If your spouse is avoiding service, papers can sometimes be left with another adult at their home or workplace, or posted on their door.
Service by Publication: If you can’t locate your spouse despite diligent searching, you may be able to serve them by publishing a notice in a newspaper. This requires court approval.
Who Can Serve Papers
You cannot serve divorce papers yourself. Someone over 18 who is not a party to the divorce must serve them. This is typically a professional process server, sheriff’s deputy, or in some cases, a friend or family member.
Proof of Service
After serving your spouse, the person who served them must complete a proof of service form (also called an affidavit of service) and file it with the court. This proves your spouse was properly notified.
Service Costs
Process servers typically charge $50-100 for service. Sheriff’s service is usually cheaper, sometimes $30-50.
Step 3: Response to the Petition
After being served, your spouse has a limited time to respond—typically 20-30 days depending on your jurisdiction.
Filing an Answer
If your spouse agrees with everything in your petition, they file a simple answer agreeing to the divorce terms. If they disagree with anything, they file an answer addressing each point and explaining their position.
The answer might also include a counter-petition if your spouse wants to request different terms than you proposed.
Default Divorce
If your spouse doesn’t respond within the required timeframe, you can request a default divorce. The court may grant your requests since your spouse didn’t contest them. However, courts are sometimes reluctant to grant defaults without giving absent spouses additional opportunities to respond.
Default doesn’t mean you automatically get everything you want—the court still reviews requests to ensure they’re fair and legal.
Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce
If your spouse responds agreeing to everything, you have an uncontested divorce—the simplest, fastest, and cheapest type. You can often finalize uncontested divorces in a few months with minimal court involvement.
If your spouse disagrees about custody, property division, support, or other issues, you have a contested divorce. These take longer, cost more, and require negotiation, mediation, or trial.
Step 4: Temporary Orders and Emergency Relief
During the divorce process, you may need court orders addressing immediate issues before the final divorce.
When Temporary Orders Are Needed
Divorces can take months or years to finalize. In the meantime, life continues—bills need paying, children need care, and disputes arise. Temporary orders address these immediate needs.
Common Temporary Orders
Typical temporary orders include:
Temporary Custody and Visitation: Establishing where children live and when they see each parent during the divorce.
Temporary Child Support: Requiring one parent to pay child support during the divorce process.
Temporary Spousal Support: Ordering one spouse to support the other financially during divorce proceedings.
Use of Property: Determining who stays in the marital home, who uses which vehicles, etc.
Restraining Orders: Protecting spouses or children from abuse or harassment.
Financial Restrictions: Preventing either spouse from hiding, selling, or destroying marital assets.
Requesting Temporary Orders
Either spouse can request temporary orders by filing a motion with the court. You’ll typically have a hearing where both sides present arguments, and the judge issues orders that remain in effect until the final divorce.
Emergency Orders
In urgent situations involving immediate danger, financial emergencies, or risks to children, you can request emergency temporary orders. These are granted quickly, sometimes within hours, without waiting for standard hearing schedules.
Step 5: Discovery and Financial Disclosure
Discovery is the formal process of exchanging information and documents related to your marriage, assets, debts, income, and other relevant matters.
Why Discovery Matters
Fair property division and support calculations require complete financial information from both spouses. Discovery ensures both parties and the court have accurate information about marital assets, debts, income, and expenses.
Types of Discovery
Discovery can include:
Interrogatories: Written questions one spouse sends the other, which must be answered under oath.
Requests for Production: Demands for documents like bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, retirement account statements, property appraisals, and business records.
Depositions: In-person questioning under oath, recorded by a court reporter. Used in more complex or contested cases.
Subpoenas: Court orders requiring third parties (banks, employers, etc.) to provide documents or testimony.
Financial Affidavits: Detailed sworn statements of income, expenses, assets, and debts that both spouses must complete.
Mandatory Disclosure
Many jurisdictions require automatic disclosure of certain financial information without formal discovery requests. Both spouses must provide this information within specific timeframes.
Discovery Disputes
Sometimes spouses refuse to provide information, provide incomplete information, or hide assets. If this happens, your attorney can file motions compelling discovery, and the court can sanction uncooperative spouses.
Discovery disputes add time and expense to divorces.
Step 6: Negotiation and Settlement Attempts
Most divorces settle without going to trial. This step involves negotiating terms both spouses can accept.
Settlement Benefits
Settling your divorce offers significant advantages including lower costs (trials are expensive), faster resolution, more control over outcomes (you decide rather than a judge), less stress and conflict, and greater privacy (settlements can remain confidential while trials are public).
Judges often encourage settlement, and most divorce lawyers prioritize settlement negotiations.
Negotiation Methods
Settlement negotiations can happen through:
Direct Negotiation: You and your spouse discuss terms directly or through your attorneys.
Mediation: A neutral third-party mediator helps you and your spouse reach agreements. Mediators don’t make decisions but facilitate productive discussions.
Collaborative Divorce: Both spouses and their attorneys commit to settling without going to court. If settlement fails, both attorneys must withdraw and new lawyers take over.
Arbitration: A private arbitrator hears arguments and makes binding decisions, similar to a judge but in a private setting.
Settlement Agreement Contents
A settlement agreement (also called a marital settlement agreement or divorce agreement) addresses all issues including property division (who gets what assets and debts), child custody and visitation schedules, child support amounts and terms, spousal support/alimony amounts and duration, division of retirement accounts and pensions, responsibility for debts, and tax considerations.
Once both spouses sign and the court approves, the settlement agreement becomes legally binding.
When Settlement Fails
If you can’t reach agreement despite good faith efforts, your case proceeds to trial where a judge makes final decisions about disputed issues.
Step 7: Court Hearings and Possibly Trial
If you can’t settle all issues, you’ll attend court hearings and possibly a trial.
Pre-Trial Hearings
Before trial, you may attend various hearings including case management conferences where judges set schedules and deadlines, status conferences checking settlement progress, temporary order hearings for immediate needs, and pre-trial conferences finalizing which issues need trial.
These hearings help manage the case and encourage settlement.
Preparing for Trial
Trial preparation is extensive and includes witness preparation, organizing evidence and exhibits, developing legal arguments, preparing testimony, and reviewing the other side’s case.
Your attorney handles most preparation, but you’ll need to be involved and prepared to testify.
The Divorce Trial
Divorce trials work like other civil trials:
Opening Statements: Each attorney outlines their case and what they’ll prove.
Witness Testimony: Both sides present witnesses (including the spouses themselves) who testify under oath. Attorneys question their own witnesses (direct examination) and cross-examine the other side’s witnesses.
Evidence Presentation: Attorneys introduce documents, records, and other evidence supporting their positions.
Expert Testimony: Financial experts, child psychologists, appraisers, or other professionals may testify about specialized topics.
Closing Arguments: Each attorney summarizes their case and explains why the judge should rule in their favor.
Judge’s Decision: After considering all evidence, the judge issues rulings on contested issues. This might happen immediately or weeks later in a written decision.
Trial Length
Simple divorce trials might take a few hours. Complex cases with significant assets, businesses, or custody disputes can take several days spread over weeks or months.
Trial Costs
Trials are expensive. Attorney fees for a contested divorce trial can easily reach $15,000-$50,000 or more per spouse, depending on complexity.
Step 8: Final Divorce Decree
The final divorce decree (also called a divorce judgment) is the court order officially ending your marriage.
What the Decree Contains
The final decree includes all terms of your divorce:
- Official statement that your marriage is dissolved
- Property division details (who gets each asset and debt)
- Child custody arrangements and parenting time schedules
- Child support amounts, payment terms, and duration
- Spousal support/alimony amounts, payment terms, and duration
- Name change provisions (if applicable)
- Insurance requirements
- Tax filing status and dependency exemptions
- Any other specific terms relevant to your situation
How You Get the Decree
If you settled, the decree reflects your settlement agreement. If you went to trial, it reflects the judge’s rulings. Your attorney typically drafts the decree, the other side reviews it, and both submit it to the judge for signature.
Once the judge signs, the decree becomes a final court order binding both parties.
Waiting Periods
Some states impose waiting periods between filing and finalizing divorce—ranging from 30 days to a year. Even if you and your spouse agree on everything, you can’t finalize the divorce until the waiting period ends.
This gives couples time to reconsider and potentially reconcile.
When the Divorce Is Final
Your divorce is final when the judge signs the decree and it’s entered into court records. You’ll receive a certified copy. The date the decree is entered is your official divorce date.
Post-Decree Requirements
After the decree is final, you may need to transfer property titles, divide retirement accounts through Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs), change beneficiaries on insurance and retirement accounts, change your name on official documents, update your estate plan, and file updated tax information.
Your attorney can help ensure you complete necessary post-divorce tasks.
Special Considerations for Different Types of Divorces
Different divorce situations involve unique processes and considerations.
Uncontested Divorce
When both spouses agree on all terms, uncontested divorce is the simplest and fastest option. The process typically involves filing a joint petition or one spouse filing with the other agreeing, completing financial disclosures, submitting a settlement agreement, and attending a brief court hearing (often just a formality).
Uncontested divorces can finalize in 2-6 months in many jurisdictions and cost significantly less—sometimes $1,000-$3,000 total if you use an attorney, or even less for DIY divorces.
Contested Divorce
When spouses disagree about custody, property, or support, contested divorce requires extensive negotiation, possible mediation, discovery, court hearings, and potentially trial.
Contested divorces typically take 1-3 years to finalize and cost $15,000-$50,000+ per spouse in attorney fees, court costs, and expert fees.
High-Asset Divorce
Divorces involving significant wealth, businesses, complex investments, or substantial assets require special handling including business valuations, forensic accounting to find hidden assets, expert financial testimony, complex property division, and often contentious negotiations.
High-asset divorces almost always require experienced divorce attorneys and can be extremely expensive and time-consuming.
Divorces with Children
When minor children are involved, the divorce must address child custody (legal and physical), detailed parenting time schedules, child support calculations, health insurance for children, educational decisions, extracurricular activities, and allocation of tax benefits.
Courts prioritize children’s best interests, which can complicate and lengthen the process.
Divorces Involving Abuse
When domestic violence or abuse is present, the divorce process includes special protections like protective/restraining orders, supervised visitation or custody evaluations, safety protocols for service of papers and court appearances, and expedited hearings for urgent safety issues.
Abuse victims should work with attorneys experienced in domestic violence cases and utilize victim advocacy resources.
Military Divorce
Military divorces have unique aspects including jurisdictional questions (where to file), division of military pensions, compliance with the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, potential for military legal assistance, and considerations about housing and healthcare benefits.
Military divorces require attorneys familiar with military-specific divorce laws.
International Divorce
When spouses live in different countries, hold assets abroad, or have citizenship in different nations, international divorce involves complex jurisdictional issues, enforcement of foreign court orders, international child custody laws (like the Hague Convention), and currency and tax considerations.
These cases require attorneys with international family law experience.
Divorce Alternatives to Consider
Sometimes alternatives to traditional divorce better serve couples’ needs.
Legal Separation
Legal separation is a court process similar to divorce that addresses custody, support, and property division but doesn’t end the marriage. Couples remain legally married but live separately under court-ordered terms.
Some couples choose this for religious reasons, to maintain health insurance benefits, for tax advantages, or to see if separation leads to reconciliation.
Annulment
Annulment is a legal determination that a valid marriage never existed, different from divorce which ends a valid marriage. Grounds for annulment include fraud, duress, bigamy, incapacity, or underage marriage without proper consent.
Annulments are rare and difficult to obtain in most jurisdictions.
Mediated Divorce
While not an alternative to divorce itself, mediated divorce is an alternative process where a neutral mediator helps spouses reach agreements without litigation. This is less adversarial, cheaper, faster, and gives couples more control than traditional court processes.
Mediation works best when both spouses are willing to negotiate in good faith.
Collaborative Divorce
In collaborative divorce, both spouses and their specially-trained collaborative attorneys commit to settling without court involvement. If settlement fails, both attorneys must withdraw.
This incentivizes cooperation and settlement. It’s less adversarial than litigation but more structured than mediation.
Managing the Emotional Process
Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s an emotional journey requiring attention to mental health and wellbeing.
Common Emotional Stages
Many people experience grief-like stages during divorce including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These don’t follow a linear path—you might move back and forth between stages.
Recognizing these as normal helps you cope more effectively.
Getting Emotional Support
Don’t go through divorce alone. Seek support from therapists or counselors, divorce support groups, trusted friends and family, clergy or spiritual advisors, and online communities and forums.
Professional counseling can be especially valuable for processing complex emotions and developing coping strategies.
Protecting Your Children
If you have children, help them through the divorce by maintaining routines and stability, avoiding speaking negatively about the other parent, reassuring them the divorce isn’t their fault, providing age-appropriate information, and watching for signs of distress requiring professional help.
Children’s therapists specializing in divorce can help kids process their feelings.
Self-Care During Divorce
Prioritize your physical and mental health by maintaining healthy eating and exercise habits, getting adequate sleep, avoiding excessive alcohol or substance use, continuing hobbies and social connections, and taking breaks from divorce-related stress when possible.
Divorce is marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself.
Costs and Financial Considerations
Understanding divorce costs helps you budget and make informed decisions.
Attorney Fees
Attorney fees are typically the largest divorce expense. Hourly rates range from $150-$500+ depending on experience and location. Simple uncontested divorces might cost $1,000-$5,000 in attorney fees. Contested divorces commonly cost $15,000-$50,000+ per spouse.
Some attorneys require retainers (upfront payments) of $2,500-$10,000 or more, billing against this amount and requesting additional funds as needed.
Court Costs and Filing Fees
Court filing fees typically range from $200-$400. Additional court costs can include service of process ($50-$100), certified copies of documents ($10-$50 per document), court reporter fees for depositions ($300-$600+), and trial exhibits and preparation ($100-$500+).
Expert Fees
Complex divorces may require experts including business appraisers ($3,000-$10,000+), real estate appraisers ($300-$600), forensic accountants ($5,000-$20,000+), child custody evaluators ($2,000-$10,000+), and vocational experts ($1,500-$5,000+).
Mediation and Other Professional Fees
Mediators typically charge $100-$400 per hour. Financial advisors might charge $150-$400 per hour. Collaborative divorce professionals charge fees similar to litigation attorneys.
Ways to Reduce Costs
Minimize divorce costs by settling rather than going to trial, being organized and responsive to reduce attorney time, handling simple tasks yourself, considering mediation or collaborative divorce, being reasonable and flexible, and focusing on what truly matters rather than fighting over everything.
Life After Divorce: What Happens Next
Understanding post-divorce life helps you prepare for this new chapter.
Practical Tasks
After divorce, handle practical matters including updating your estate plan and beneficiaries, changing your name (if desired), updating identification documents, modifying insurance coverage, establishing separate finances, addressing housing needs, and adjusting to new custody arrangements.
Financial Adjustments
Divorce significantly affects finances. Prepare for living on one income, managing new budgets, rebuilding credit if necessary, planning for retirement with modified assets, and potentially returning to work or increasing work hours.
Financial advisors can help you create post-divorce financial plans.
Co-Parenting
If you have children, develop effective co-parenting relationships by communicating about children’s needs, respecting custody schedules, keeping conflict away from children, maintaining consistency across households, and being flexible when reasonable.
Good co-parenting puts children’s needs first despite adult conflicts.
Emotional Recovery
Healing from divorce takes time. Be patient with yourself as you adjust to new identity and independence, process grief and loss, rebuild confidence and self-esteem, rediscover personal interests and goals, and eventually open yourself to new relationships.
Many people find themselves happier and healthier after divorce, though the journey there can be difficult.
The Bottom Line on the Divorce Process
The divorce process follows predictable steps from initial filing through final decree, but each divorce is unique based on circumstances, cooperation level, and complexity. Understanding these steps—filing the petition, serving papers, responding, exchanging information, negotiating settlement, potentially going to trial, and finalizing the decree—helps you navigate divorce with greater confidence and less anxiety.
While divorce is rarely easy, being informed, preparing thoroughly, getting appropriate professional help, and focusing on what truly matters can make the process smoother and more manageable. Whether your divorce is simple and amicable or complex and contentious, knowing what to expect at each stage helps you make better decisions and protect your interests and wellbeing.
Remember that divorce is not just a legal ending but also a new beginning. With proper preparation, good support, and self-care, you can move through this difficult transition toward a healthier, happier future.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How long does the divorce process take? Divorce timeline varies significantly based on your situation. Uncontested divorces where both spouses agree on all terms can finalize in 2-6 months in many states, though some have mandatory waiting periods that extend this. Contested divorces involving disputes about custody, property, or support typically take 1-3 years to finalize. High-conflict cases or those involving complex assets, businesses, or international elements can take even longer. Your state’s waiting periods, court scheduling, and level of conflict all affect timeline.
2. Can I get divorced without an attorney? Yes, you can represent yourself in a divorce (called “pro se” representation). This is only advisable for simple, uncontested divorces with no children, few assets, short marriages, and complete agreement between spouses. Even then, at least consulting with an attorney helps you understand your rights. Contested divorces, cases with children, significant assets, or complex issues should not be handled without legal representation—the risks of unfavorable outcomes are too high.
3. How much does divorce cost? Costs vary enormously. Uncontested DIY divorces might cost just filing fees ($200-$400), while using an attorney for uncontested divorce typically costs $1,000-$5,000 total. Contested divorces commonly cost each spouse $15,000-$50,000 or more in attorney fees, plus court costs and expert fees. High-asset or high-conflict divorces can cost $100,000+ per spouse. Mediated divorces typically cost $3,000-$10,000 total for both spouses combined.
4. What is the difference between contested and uncontested divorce? Uncontested divorce means both spouses agree on all major issues including property division, custody, child support, and spousal support. These divorces are faster, cheaper, and simpler. Contested divorce means spouses disagree about one or more major issues. These require negotiation, possibly mediation or trial, take longer, cost more, and involve greater conflict. Many divorces start contested but become uncontested through negotiation.
5. Do I have to go to court for my divorce? It depends. For uncontested divorces, some states allow divorce finalization through paperwork without court appearances, while others require a brief hearing (often just 10-15 minutes). For contested divorces, you’ll likely attend multiple court hearings for temporary orders, case management, and potentially trial. Many routine hearings can be handled by your attorney without your presence, but you’ll need to attend for testimony or when the judge requires it.
6. How is property divided in divorce? Property division depends on whether you live in a community property state or equitable distribution state. Community property states (like California, Texas, Arizona) generally divide marital property 50/50. Equitable distribution states (most states) divide property fairly but not necessarily equally, considering factors like marriage length, each spouse’s income and earning capacity, contributions to the marriage, and needs. Separate property owned before marriage or inherited usually isn’t divided.
7. Who gets custody of the children? Courts determine custody based on the children’s best interests, considering factors like each parent’s ability to care for children, children’s relationships with each parent, stability of each parent’s home, children’s preferences (if old enough), any history of abuse or neglect, and parents’ willingness to cooperate. Courts increasingly favor shared custody arrangements where both parents remain actively involved, unless one parent is unfit. Mothers don’t automatically get custody—courts must treat both parents equally.
8. Can I date or move in with someone during my divorce? Legally, you can, but it’s generally unwise. Dating during divorce can complicate settlement negotiations, negatively affect custody decisions if it appears to harm children, anger your spouse and reduce willingness to settle, and potentially affect alimony considerations in some states. Most divorce attorneys strongly recommend waiting until divorce is final before dating openly. Moving in with someone during divorce is even more problematic and can significantly impact your case.
9. What happens if my spouse refuses to sign divorce papers? Your spouse cannot prevent your divorce by refusing to sign papers. If they don’t respond to the petition within the required timeframe, you can request a default divorce. If they respond but refuse to settle, the case proceeds to trial where a judge makes decisions. While your spouse can make the process difficult and drawn out, they cannot ultimately stop you from divorcing. No one can be forced to remain married against their will.
10. Can my spouse and I use the same attorney? No. One attorney cannot represent both spouses in a divorce because of conflicts of interest—what’s best for one spouse often conflicts with what’s best for the other. Even in friendly divorces, each spouse should have their own attorney (or at least consult with one). In uncontested divorces, one spouse’s attorney can draft documents while the other spouse reviews them independently or with their own attorney. Sharing an attorney is prohibited by legal ethics rules.
